To Change or Not to Change?
The feminist in me always thought that whenever I got married, I would not even think of changing my name. In fact, I would convince my future husband to adopt my last name instead. However, ever since I got engaged, I have been asking myself whether I should change my last name or not. Colin has already said that he would not change his last name to Tom-Kun. (So, there goes that idea. :P). He also told me that the decision is mine to make. So, he's not pressuring me to adopt his last name. (He's such a sweetie.)
I'm finding that lots of recent newlywed brides that I know have adopted the last names of their husbands for various reasons. So, what gives and what should I do? Here is a short pro/con list for myself:
Pros
- I would have the same last name as our children
- People would actually be able to pronounce my "new" last name
- People would actually be able to spell my "new" last name
Cons
- Being a Tom-Kun has always been my identity
- I am the one and only Denise Tom-Kun in the whole wide world
- My last name is unique and a symbol of my Chinese-Trinidadian heritage
Here are the options I am considering:
1) Denise Tom-Kun (status quo)
2) Denise Wong (adopt his last name)
3) Denise Tom-Kun-Wong (hypenated last name)
4) Denise Tom-Wong (incorporates both of our last names and not too difficult to pronounce)
5) Denise Wong-Kun (pronounced "Wongkin" :P)
I'm still not sure what I am going to do yet. I would appreciate some input so, let me know what you think. :)
8 comments:
That's easy... there's only one right choice :)
Wong-Tom :P
I'm not considering Wong-Tom...for some reason, it sounds funny to me. Can't explain it.
I think Colin should change his to Colin Wong-Kun :P
But seriously, just keep your name as it is. It's unique, not to mention, if you change it, you'd have to change all your ID, credit cards, etc....
There is always "Tom-Kun Wong" - no hyphen. That way you can use Tom-Kun professionally and Wong socially; because they are both your last name.
But you still have to have all your identification documents changed.
keep your name, its so unique! wong is too common :P
but i know exactly what u mean, i used to feel pretty strongly about keeping my name, i know me as donna chu :P
but who knows, not sure what ill do..
Denise Tom-Kun Wong, I really don't see a need to hyphenate the Wong and the Tom-Kun unless it's a symbolic thing to you. Tom-Kun is now your middle name.
Think of it as adding his bal... I mean his name to your shelf, right next to your name.
Besides, it's yours in front.
I know I am so playing devil's advocate here.
colin - wouldn't you feel disrespected if denise didn't take your name? i think you should. its just a slippery slope from here...first a name, next thing you know, you'll have no rights to the remote control!!!
take a stand!!!!
:P
Aww, Bullpen. You just want to increase the numbers of the greater "Wong" clan. Besides, I already called dibs on the remote.
Thanks to everyone for your thoughts. I'm still weighing the options. :)
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